Naomi's Birth Day (Aka, "My Pregnancy - Part 2")

The Big Day:

The day I was due was a Sunday and we were supposed to go to a birthday party for our friends' daughter. I woke up that morning and just felt like I didn't have it in me to go. It would be bustling with people and I just felt my energy level was not up for that. We spent the day at home. In the evening my parents came over for dinner. That night Scott and I had nothing to watch on TV, so we played Yahtzee.

We went to bed around 10...as usual. I got up at 11 to go to the washroom because my stomach hurt. Then I got up at midnight for the same reason. I went to go sleep on the couch because I figured if this was going to happen again, its easier to roll off the couch than it is to try and get out of bed. Around 2am I woke up and thought that this feeling I was having may be contractions. So I got my trusty contraction timer app out that I downloaded on my phone and started recording. The contractions started at 6 min apart, then 8 min, the 15 minutes. I thought it seemed quite silly to stay up and time them at this point, so I fell back asleep. I figured I'd do the "bath test" that the midwives want you to do when I woke up in the morning. If this was labour then running a bath  now would wake Scott up and it'd be best for us all to be as well rested as possible. So, I fell back asleep.

Active Labour:

I woke up at 6:10am because my water broke. I ran to the washroom. Scott was just getting up. I couldn't remember if I was still supposed to have a bath if my water broke to see if I was in pre-labour or if it was actual labour. As I was flipping through my information binder from the midwives, Scott kept saying, "I'm pretty sure you are supposed to page the midwives when your water breaks."

Scott started timing my contractions and they were about 2-4 minutes a part, but much more intense then the ones I had at night. We had an exercise ball upstairs to help me with labour, but the only thing that felt good was leaning in a door way or over the counter and kicking my feet.

Our midwife, Colleen, called back from the page we sent. It was about 7am. She asked questions and talked me through 2 contractions. She said she didn't think I was in active labour yet because I was still able to talk through my contractions, but if I wanted her to, she would come over to check on me. (One of my fears was being that person who cried wolf and wasn't in labour. Given that my water broke, I figured this had to be the real thing.) I thought it would be good if she came and checked me.  

Meanwhile I was getting pretty nauseated and ended up throwing up the 3 children's tylenol and 2 gravol that I had taken an hour before. At that point I said to Scott, "If she gets here and I'm only 4 cm dialated, we are going to the hospital and I'm getting an epidural!" Scott in his ever so calm manner told me not to worry.

The midwife got to our house around 7:30am. We were going to go into our room so she could check my temperature, blood pressure, baby's heart rate, etc. As she was settling in I had two contractions that were fairly close together. She decided at that point to check how far along I was immediately. The whole time I was just thinking, 'please let me be more than 4 cm.'

I looked at her as she said, "...6...7...8...you are almost 9 cm."

I said, "So when I threw up half an hour ago, that would've been transition." It was starting to make sense and I knew that the 7-9 cm point is the worst of it. She told me later that I have a really high pain tolerance.

To Go to the Hospital...:

Colleen said if we were going to go to the hospital we would have to leave now. Scott started throwing bags into the car. I was on the couch trying to figure out how I was going to even put on pants. The midwife said to me, "Have you considered a home birth? Its a lot easier to have a baby at home than it is on the side of the road." I didn't know how to respond as I was still a bit shell shocked that I was so far along. I knew Scott wasn't completely comfortable with the idea. We quickly considered calling an ambulance, but figured it'd be quicker to drive the 10 min to the hospital then to wait for an ambulance.

We made our way to the car. I was going to get in the back, but forgot about the car seat that was back there, not leaving a lot of room. So I walked to the front passenger side, but the car seat required the front seat to be completely upright. The thought of having to sit was unfathomable. I stood outside the car door, having contractions on the driveway while the midwife waited on the road in her car to follow us to the hospital.

Scott "highly suggested" I get in the car. I said that I couldn't. I knew he was frustrated with me standing outside the car having contractions on the front lawn and finally said, "Make a decision. Are we going or staying?" We were going to stay at home, I decided. 

...Or to Stay Home?:

Scott hailed the midwife to come back to the house. I went back inside. I was in the washroom for about 5 minutes, not really aware of what was going on around me. In that time period, Scott and Colleen had stripped the white comforter off our bed and transformed the room to a birthing suite. (I.E., put plastic sheets everywhere and set up the nursery as a resuscitation area in case of an emergency.)

One of the reasons I wanted a midwife was because I was convinced I did not want to give birth on my back. There are so many better alternatives that I read about that are better for your body. By the time I made my way to our room, I laid down on my back and decided I was not getting back up.

The student midwife, Justine and 2nd midwife, Megan had arrived shortly after. (I found out after that they were up all night with another birth). Colleen decided to push the remaining part of the cervix over the baby's head so that I could start pushing. 

What amazed me about contractions was that in between every contraction was this short period of rest where there was no pain (aside from the leg cramps I kept getting). God's design of labour literally has little "built in" rest periods.

A few weeks after the birth I had this flashback of when the 3 midwives were sitting at the end of the bed just calmly waiting and looking so peaceful...just like the stories in Ina May's book. When I saw the 3 midwives at my final appointment I had mentioned that to them and they laughed and said, "Its not always like that. You were just doing great on your own."

Time for the Hard Work:

Having no idea what "pushing" felt like, it took a while to catch on. Then they suggested I push more than 1 time during each contraction to be more efficient. I really wasn't a fan of this idea but figured I needed to do what they said. 

I remember at one point saying, "Hypnobirthing sucks. It clearly doesn't work." To which Colleen replied, "Hypnobirthing is probably what helped you get to this point so efficiently."

Scott was laying at the top of the bed holding my hand. The midwives asked if he wanted to see the baby's head, he declined. They asked me if I wanted to get a mirror to see the baby's head. I declined. I figured that image would in no way help me through the process.

After about 40 minutes of pushing, Colleen said if I couldn't push her out in the next 2 contractions they  would be best to have me move to a birthing stool. The thought of having to move was motivation enough to try a little harder. Justine, the student midwife, gave me some instructions as to what was going to happen next. I remember just thinking, 'maintain eye contact and she'll think you are listening.'

Within the next few minutes at 9:50am Naomi was born at 8lb 10oz. As Scott tells her, "The day you came to us you were purple like Bazooka Joe bubble gum." She was wailing and pinked up pretty quickly and was trying to suck on anything that came close to her mouth.  She passed her APGAR test with flying colours. They asked Scott if he wanted to cut the cord and he said, "No its ok, you go ahead..."

The Third Stage of Labour:

I was amazed at a.) how big she was when they put her on my stomach, and b.) that there was no more pain once she was born. It was incredible how quickly it was over. Almost immediately I got really cold, teeth chattering and started convulsing. For a second I was confused and afraid. (Scott thinks it was hilarious). The midwives said its just your body going into shock and its completely normal. They asked Scott for a blanket. We looked at each other and thought about what blanket we could use as we really didn't have anything prepared for a home birth.

I had mentioned that Naomi and I decided on an 8 hour labour in our hypnobirthing sessions. If you count when I first felt a contraction, it would've almost been 8 hours exactly. The midwives counted it as 3.5 hours of labour as they said active labour started at 6:10 when my water broke that morning. (They didn't count the part that I slept through...)

The midwives did all the post-delivery checkups for me and the baby. Post-pardum recovery came as a shock to me. I'm not sure what I thought would happen post-baby, but I wasn't ready for  the "recovery" portion. Maybe people told me about that part and I didn't pay attention. Thankfully I had a few friends who did give me some excellent advice and tips to help.

I remember when I was in labour saying I would never have another baby and "Adoption is a valuable option." But only 2 weeks later I couldn't remember why I felt that way at the time and would joke that "I could do that over lunch". I figure the short term memory is Gods way of ensuring we have more.

Scott called my mom. When she saw his number come up on her phone she assumed we were on our way to the hospital. Scott said, "Do you want to come meet your granddaughter?" She was amazed. And then he told her we were at home which was even more of a shock to her. (I had been telling her that she should make sure she is dressed and put makeup on each morning just in case I called her when the baby was born. Knowing she'd rush over, she'd want the first pictures with the baby to be with makeup on!)

When mom and dad came, Scott took the baby out to show them. After a few minutes, the midwives brought her back to be with me though as they wanted her to be skin to skin as much as possible.

After everyone was checked out and doing well (about an hour and a bit after the delivery), I made my way to the living room. The midwives cleaned up the room. (Surprisingly we only lost one pillow to the whole experience.  Scott described as "looking like someone was murdered on it." Other than that, a hot and sanitize cycle in the washing machine and everything came out like new. The midwives left around noon after providing some instruction about nursing and ensuring everything was going smoothly.

 ...and we settled in as a family of 3.

Final Thoughts:

So yes, me, the "give me all the drugs you can/home births are ludicrous" girl ended up having a natural home birth and a story to be proud of. One year ago, I never would've imagined this.

I don't know if there is a secret formula to ensure a good labour and delivery. I can't say if there is one specific thing that I did that helped, or if none of it did, but I figured if I do everything I can to ensure my body is ready, it would be luck of the draw after that...but at least I knew I did everything that I knew how to in my power to make it go smoothly. Find the lengthy blog post on my pregnancy here.

I was so sad at my 6 week check up that it was the final appointment with the midwives as I felt such a connection to them for the amazing job they did in taking care of Naomi and me.  I would encourage anyone whole-heartedly to try to be under midwifery care as they made the experience so incredible, explaining what was happening and encouraging me the entire time. It amazes me how much a "You are doing a great job" comment from someone who has witnessed hundreds of births can help boost your confidence.

I was trying to find some type of inspirational thing to say at the end of this to wrap it all up nicely, but all I can think of is, "...And that's my story of how Naomi came into the world!" 

My Pregnancy (Part 1)

I decided to get back on here as I wanted a place to write out my pregnancy story. One of the pages in Naomi's baby  record book asks you to write down you birth story and then gives you 5 lines to explain the whole event. I've never been known for my brevity, so I thought it would be nice to give the full story and just tape it to the page as 5 lines certainly wouldn't cover it.  In fact, one blog doesn't even seem to cover it, so I'll do this in two parts.

In the Beginning: 

People were very surprised to hear that we were pregnant as were we since it happened so quickly. So quickly in fact that it shocked me. I thought it would take a couple months and I'd still be able to hide the pregnancy enough that I could play softball that year.  Within a couple days I started dealing with extreme fatigue and nausea. I would fall asleep so early in the evenings but never wake up feeling refreshed. My mom asked me if I had mono. I said, "no." A little while later she suggested that maybe I had a thyroid condition since I was so tired all the time. You can see the video of when we broke the news to my parents HERE.

I thought my first trimester would never end. I didnt know how I would cope with being pregnant for 40 weeks as I couldn't stay up past 730pm. My great "clean eating" diet of no processed sugar or dairy that I had been on successfully for 2 months became a diet of white bread, Eggos and cereal with milk. I couldn't fathom the idea of meat or vegetables. I never threw up, but was constantly nauseated. It was fabulous. *insert sarcasm font*

A friend of mine who was pregnant said, "Don't worry, it goes away. In my 2nd trimester I felt so good, I thought I could be pregnant forever." I thought she was crazy because I was convinced that I'd feel this way for 40 weeks. And then one day I woke up and was fine...just like that. A friend at the gym commented that I must be feeling better because 'I no longer look grey.' Apparently how I was feeling was also how I was looking.

I wanted to live as normally as I could. I felt like getting pregnant was our decision and no one should have to "suffer" through listening to me complain about pregnancy related symptoms. This resulted in me just not wanting to talk about being pregnant (to most people). I found people's excitement for me being pregnant very strange...especially strangers.

I was terrified of gaining weight that I would never lose. I wanted to be strong and feel strong throughout my pregnancy and had a goal of continuing to teach classes at the gym till 30 weeks. (I made it till 24 weeks teaching BodyPump, and 27 weeks teaching BodyVive.) I also had a goal of not gaining more than 30 lbs. I did really well in staying on track with this until the last 3 weeks where I gained about 6 lbs in water alone. ...which I was ok with given I knew I'd lose that very quickly.

Making Decisions:

A friend of mine used midwives for her baby and it was highly suggested to me to try to get in with them as the standard of care that you recieve is so amazing. I didn't really understand the difference but assumed these people knew what they were talking about.

I was concerned though as I thought midwives would want you to have a natural, drug free childbirth and that was not in my plan at all. (Side note: Midwives push neither of these options, rather they are all about ensuring you have information for all options to make a decision about your care).

When I got pregnant my idea of "labour" was getting pain meds before I even left the house (I know thats not possible) and spending a few hours playing Sudoku on the Ipad while sitting in a hospital bed hooked up to an epidural. I was quite open about this and had no desire to talk about alternatives. I spoke to many friends explaining my rationale for why a homebirth is the most ludicrous thing one could do. One of these friends ended up having an unplanned home birth. I was shell shocked and felt a bit betrayed as I thought we had the same opinion on this matter, but in the end, her story was probably one the most inspiring things that helped me.

I applied to get in with the midwives, but was put on a waiting list. After week 13 I figured it wasn't going to happen. When I first started meeting with my OBGYN, I knew I wanted a doula. Even though I knew I wanted drugs, I felt the doula would make the experience better. I met with a few doulas, one of which suggested I read Ina May Gaskins book "Guide to Childbirth." This was also suggested by my friend (spoken about above), with the disclaimer, "I know you want an epidural, but it's a really good book." After the second recommendation from the doula, I purchased the book.

To say the book changed my pregnancy world completely would be an understatement. By the time I finished it, not only did I not want drugs, but I knew that I could and wanted to have a natural childbirth. It was truly a redefining moment for me in my journey.

I also watched the documentary "The Business of Being Born," which set in my mind even more so the implications of unneccessary medical intervention. So when the midwifery clinic called me when I was 26 weeks pregnant and said that they had availability for me to be under their care, I was absolutely thrilled.

Labour Preparation:

I wanted to be as prepared as possible and do everything I could to ensure I was ready for labour and delivery.

Exercise - I was able to keep quite active throughout my whole pregnancy and I know the benefits of focused exercise is well documented.

Acupuncture/Naturopath - Through my search for a Doula I came across the services of Dr. Corinne Brown who provides doula service but is also a Naturopathic doctor. She had pre-natal services that I was a part of that included holistic herbs, acupuncture and and moxibustion which helps prepare the body for labour and then helps stimulate the body for labour and reduce complications and need for induction. I met with her weekly from around 34 weeks on.

Hypnotheraphy - After reading Hypnobirthing,  I thought it would be beneficial to work directly with a hypnotherapist. To truly explain the benefits of this would be difficult but I found our sessions both relaxing and empowering. I had 2 sessions of hypnotheraphy with Kathleen Milligan at Action Hypnosis. Her services were wonderful and she provided me with cds to continue my practise at home. She encouraged me to talk with the baby and pick a date for delivery as well as talk to the baby about how long the labour would be. We had chosen Sept 26. (She was born Sept 30). And we had decided on an 8 hour labour. (More of that in part 2).

Massage Therapy/ Chiropractor - I was also blessed to have a great benefits package at work that covered me to have bi-weekly massages and chiropractic care right up until my delivery.

Physiotherapy - The final thing that I did to prepare for my delivery was sought out the services of a pelvic health physiotherapist. Courtney Pigott at Lifemark Physiotherapy did a great job in helping me learn about what muscles I needed to strengthen and if I was doing the right things to prepare my body. I had 2 pre-natal appointments with her then 2 post-partum appointments where she helped show me how to break down scar tissue from stitches, checked for diastasys, pro-lapse and suggested ways to help with any incontinence issues.

Despite all these things, the best thing I did was surround myself with people who felt the same way I did about childbirth. Those who encouraged me about my choice to have a natural birth and who had positive and amazing birth stories.

Re-Framing the Experience: 

I found sometimes when women talk about their birth experience they are trying to "one-up" each other about how bad it was. I thought if anything, I wanted to be able to "one-up" how great my experience would be. ( I realize that this is a very UNPOPULAR way of making conversation amongst other women).

There were a few thoughts I had would remind myself of consistently:
1.) Think of contractions as "intense", not painful.
2.) I need to work with the "intensity" of contractions.  They are helping me, not injuring me.
3.) This is natural, normal and not a scary process. (*Western media has tried to tell us otherwise through movies and tv.)

When I mentioned these ideas and what I read  I would be given the old 'you wait and see' look. People would share their experiences with me and when they were negative I would just kept repeating to myself, "That's not going to be my story." When fear would get to me about whether I could really do it, I would think "That's not my thought," and would refocus on positive thoughts. A friend of mine sent me well wishes saying, "I hope you have a very uneventful labour." I had never heard anyone say that before and it was a great thought to focus on as well.

The Final Days:

I was off work the last two weeks before my due date. This gave me a chance to finish up her room, sew her swaddling blankets and recieving blankets and do all the things that I knew I wouldn't be able to do as easily post-baby.

I started going for walks with a friend who was due around the same time as I was. (When I did classes at the gym, the instructor would have a slight look of fear as if I would go into labour in their class).  The midwives told me the baby was already in a good position, so the walking was more for the benefit of exercise and enjoying the beautiful fall days with my friend than about putting me into labour.

Everywhere I went people would ask, "How do you feel?" or "When are you due?" (I'm not sure why the typical "How are ya?" turns into the "How are you feeling?" when you are pregnant. It had to be the most annoying question!...and I'd get asked it at least 5 times a day!).  My whole pregnancy seemed to go by so quickly, but the last month seemed to drag on and talking about it never helped.

I had already decided that we would wait the full 2 weeks post due date before considering an induction. I knew that if I had to be induced all bets were off to have a natural childbirth. Being induced would make me have all the symptoms of being in labour without the happy hormones that help you get through it. And as I had discovered through much research, the chances of having to have other interventions due to being induced were also greater. I really wanted to stay away from that whole scenario if I could.

...and that leads me to Naomi's birth day. You can read about that HERE.

Renovation Completion!

 FROM THIS.... TO THIS!

 FROM THIS....TO THIS!

 The final look!

So that's it! That's our big reno. We are one or two light fixtures being hung away from saying we are DONE! (And we need a stair railing so small children can't fall off the side of our living room...but that's another project completely.) As I had mentioned in the Spring. I was very interested in projecting estimations for the project and seeing what actual costs were. I was hoping the whole thing would cost us $15k, but I think it was more like $20k+. Here's what my projections looked like!

Materials	Estimated	Actual
Laminate Floor	450	480
Sink	300	250
Cabinet Hardware	150	110
Faucet	300	300
Microwave	400	225
Counter top	1,200	2,000
Backsplash Tile	1,000	300
Paint	150	75
Cabinets	4,500	6,410
Fireplace	250	160
Lighting & Rough Electrical Supplies	1,000	1,500
TOTAL	$9,700	$11,810
Labour	Estimated	Actual	Comments
Demolition	500	250	Weekend DIY with friends. Costs include demo accessories and lunch.
Painting	1,200	1,258	Contracted out - ceiling, trim and walls and downstairs hallways
Plumbing	250	0	included with drywall
Electrical	2,000	2,490	Potlights, running new electrical, new breaker box
Flooring	500	0	Weekend DIY
Drywall	2,000	3,400	Going from popcorn to flat ceiling and repairing all the walls that we tore down.
Tiling	500	0	Thanks to helpful friends!
Cabinetry Install	5,000	2,091	Completed by Lowe's Installers
TOTAL	$11,950	$9,488

What's for Breakfast?

I had to share these two great breakfast treats that I've been enjoying so much lately. I love my breakfast and I'm always trying to find ways to avoid cereal & milk for breakfast. A friend posted a link to Zain's Swiss Summer Oats and I was instantly hooked. Its easy to make at home and VERY convenient to take on the road.

I have two go-to favourites: Sweet Cherry Pie and Chocolate Hazelnut. I've manipulated both flavours to fall within my current eating guidelines.

According to the blog, Sweet Cherry Pie has the following ingredients:

1/2 Cup Slow Cook Oats
1/3 Cup Unsweetened Milk of Your Choice
1/4 Heaping Cup Fat Free Greek Yogurt
11/2 Tsp Flax Seeds
1/2 Tbsp Crunchy Almond Butter (Raw or Roasted)
1/8 Tsp Cinnamon
1/8 Tsp All Spice
15 Red Cherries
2-3 Drops Natural Almond Extract (Optional But Recommended)
5-7 Drops Liquid  Sweetener of Your Choice (Honey, Agave, Stevia Powder etc.)
6 Almonds Chopped or Whole (Optional Topping)
2 Tbsp Granola

I've been taking out the yogurt, stevia, and granola though and adding Chia seeds (for a creamier consistency) as well as half a scoop of vanilla protein powder.

When I first started making the Swiss Summer Oats, I would always be craving Chocolate Hazelnut (or Ferraro Rocher as the blog calls it) flavour. My discipline skills haven't reached the point yet where Nutella can stay in our house for longer than a few days without being eaten out of the jar with a spoon. But this is even better than Nutella (and a lot better for you!).

Here's the recipe:

1/2 Cup Slow Cook Oats
1/3 Cup Unsweetened Milk of Your Choice
1/4 Heaping Cup Fat Free Greek Yogurt
11/2 Tsp Flax Seeds
1/2 Tbsp Hazelnut Butter
11/2 Tbsp Cacao Powder
1 Tbsp Unsweetened Cacao Chips (Optional)
5-7 Drops Liquid Sweetener of Your Choice (Honey, Agave, Stevia Powder etc.)
6 Whole or Chopped Hazelnuts (Optional Topping)

Again I've tweaked it for my current eating guidelines by using more almond milk and removing the greek yogurt and Stevia. (I find it sweet enough as it is). And then adding chia seed and using an Almond & Hazelnut butter from Great Canadian Superstore. If this is my evening snack I'll use a chocolate flavoured protein powder and add cacao chips, but in the morning I find chocolate flavours a bit too overwhelming and will just use a vanilla flavoured protein powder. (If you've never tried Arbonne's Vegan Essential Protein Shake, you have to check it out. Contact Julie Karanfilis for more details!) So to sum it all up, without any added sugar, this treat tastes like Oatmeal Cookie Batter and it's delicious!

The best part of this is I can mix all the dry ingredients in canning jars and keep them in my pantry. In the morning when I need to grab them as I run out of the house, I need only to throw in the wet ingredients in and shake up the jar!

That's all I got for today folks! Thanks so much to Zain for the great idea!

Would love any creative and super easy breakfast ideas you have too!

What's Holding You Back

I know, I know...it's been way too long. In fact, this blog has been two and a half months in the making. I wanted to write about an experience I had at the end of August at Can-Fit-Pro conference in Toronto. Can-Fit-Pro Conference is a 3-day event of workshops, training, and fitness classes that teach and inspire fitness professionals (of which, the fact that I classify myself as a part of, still makes me feel funny) in every aspect of fitness and nutrition.

On the Friday of the conference I set myself up with a great line-up of classes starting with "Piloxing", "JumpSport Power Jump" (think mini-trampoline) and finally an amazing group exercise class called "Indo-Row". I loved them all, but there was something about the Indo-Row class that really captured me. In a nutshell, the class format was similar to a spinning class, but using the indo-row water rower the instructor goes through a series of drills and ends off with a competitive race that engages groups in the class to work together. It amazed me how much teamwork and comraderie you feel with a group of inidividuals that you had never met before. It was truly an amazing class and it the Indo-Row was an amazing machine.

As I had been participating in rec rowing during the end of summer, I asked one of the instructors Josh Crosby, a world rowing champion, if he could give me some critique and feedback. He told me to come back the next day to the indo-row booth and he'd be able to help me out.

Saturday morning started with the largest BodyPump class that I'd ever been a part of. After giving it my all in the classes on Friday, I felt, at best I was working at a 6 out of 10 that morning. I gave a half-ass performance in the pump class.
 
Once it was over I went over to the convention hall and found the Indo-row team.  When I got there, there was a girl trying to qualify for the "2 Minute Challenge" on the indo-row.  The 2 Minute Challenge is where you row your ass off for 2 minutes. The top 3 men and top 3 women qualify to the finals where the men have to row 600 m and the women row 500m for a prize of $100. After watching this girl on the rower, I had no inclination to even try the 2 minute challenge. She was giving it all she had and came up 75 meters short of the 3rd best time.

I sat down on the indo-row to work with Josh. He showed me a few things, helped my technique a bit, then told me to do the 2 minute challenge. I politely declined saying I didn't think I could. He said, "Of course you can." He hit the start button on my rower and started coaching me through. At this point, I didn't have a choice, and I had a world champion rower coaching me through so I started to give 'er. I mean, who wouldn't give 100% when you have a coach like that right beside you guiding you through the most torturous 2 minutes of your life? My first energy system guided me through the first 30 seconds, I wasn't feeling too bad, but then the minute mark hit. I didn't want to give up. I had an ego on the line. But I was dying. Before 1m 30sec hit, I couldn't see my timer nor my distance any longer, everything started to be blurry and the only thing I truly remember was Josh yelling at me to power through my legs. With more than 15 seconds left, I thought my body was done. I couldn't feel anything, I could barely see anything, but I couldn't stop. You can do anything for 15 seconds, right? Two minutes hit and time was up.

I have never been more exhausted in my entire life. I looked at Josh and while my body regained its supply of oxygen I said coldly, "That wasn't fun." Josh laughed and after replying "Welcome to my life," he said "Look at your distance." I was in the #2 spot on the board. He said, "Do you know who is #1? A medal holding national champion rower." After another two minutes or so, I was able to stand up. I'm not sure if it was an endorphin high, or because I had never been pushed like that, but I turned around, and purchased the indo-rower. (I could spend a whole blog on the buyer's guilt I had when I realized how much I spent without consulting my husband. But, thankfully, I have the most understanding and gracious husband in the world and am now a VERY proud owner of the Indo-row. And yes, I use it weekly).

Though one other person bumped me down to 3rd place sometime during that afternoon, I was still in the top 3 and had to come back at 5 o'clock for the final challenge.

I barely made it through the afternoon. I started the day feeling a 6 out of 10 at best, but after those two minutes, I dropped to a 3 or 4 and never really recovered. I didn't want to do the final rowing challenge, (though I really needed to win the $100 to help pay for the rower I just bought). Around 4 I went over to the booth and told group that I wasn't going to do the challenge. I'd show up, just in case the 4th or 5th person wasn't able to make it and I had to do it. I was out of gas. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to finish the race, that I wouldn't be able to stand up after (or ever again), or worse yet, that I'd puke in front of all kinds of people watching. I didn't want to be that girl that every cheered on "just to finish the race." After all, the #1 and #2 seated girls were both hard-core rowers. My rowing experience had more to do with drinking with your crew after the practice than anything else.

I had made up my mind. I had justified my reasoning and it certainly was valid. I had sprained muscles in my shoulder from an overuse injury that I didn't deal with for 3 months. I had done more hard core physical activity in the past 24 hours then most people do in a whole season. Plus, I still had Sunday to go, and I wanted to make sure there was at least a little left to give for Sunday's classes. These are all very valid reasons I told myself as I justified the reason I was backing out to the coordinators of the challenge.

Then one amazing lady name Doris said to me that she was disappointed that I was backing out. Her genuine concern touched me. It literally cut through my wall of justifications like a knife. And then she said words that have still stuck with me, "I wouldn't want you to miss out on this opportunity..." The opportunity to have a crowd cheering for you, to compete against other athletes, to push yourself to the limit. She said, "How did the last 30 seconds of the two minute challenge feel?" I replied emphatically, "Like Hell."  She said that in the final challenge I would only be rowing 500 meters, which really equates to only 1 min and 30 sec. I said to her that I didn't know if I had even that left to give.

For the next hour I wrestled with my fears. My justifications for not doing the race were completely logical to anyone on the outside. But I knew the real reason why I didn't want to do it. Plain and simple, I was afraid. I didn't believe I could. I was scared I would embarrass myself. I went over and over my reasoning for the next hour.

At 5 o'clock I walked over to the booth and said I would do it. Doris was right, I would've been so disappointed in myself if I didn't attempt the race. As  I sat down on my rower, I was literally shaking in fear and anticipation. As soon as they started the race, my friend Alison was there screaming in my ear. Amongst the cheering I really couldn't hear anything. My eyes had gone blurry. I was giving it everything I had. They tell me at one point I was in the lead (probably due to the insane pace that I started out the race with). As I predicted, my eyes went blurry, my body went numb and it took all I could just to keep going, but I finished the race. I barely could breathe let alone move. I'm sure my heart rate was higher than it had ever been in my entire life. But I finished....and as a bonus, I didn't puke!

They started announcing the times. I finished my 500m in 1minute and 36 seconds. The two other female rowers in the race finished in 1 minute and 35 seconds. The 3 male rowers finished behind us by a few seconds each.

My shock and amazement was overwhelming. They weren't cheering me on to just "finish the race." They were cheering for me to win. As I was flooded with mental emotion to the fact that I didn't think I would be able to keep up, let alone be leading, my appreciation for Doris (who spent the whole race banging on my rower, screaming cheers of motivation) was top of mind. One woman's motivation caused me to face my fears and to learn how strong mentally and physically I really am. I will never forget that moment, and I will never forget her inspiration.

And just for those of you who were wondering. It did kill me. We ended up going for a late dinner that evening where I bowed out early with a splitting headache. BUT...I was up and at it for a 730am class the next morning to get ripped to shreds in a Shockwave class facilitated by Doris and the Indo-row crew. And you know what? When I woke up and did the body check to see what hurting? Nothing did. In fact...I felt amazing.

What's holding you back? What opportunity have you justified your way out of because of fear? What goal do you think you can't reach because of your own limitations? You were created by an infinite God who has no limitations. Don't let your own fears hold you back from taking the most of every opportunity presented to you.







Here's a link to the final challenge done at Can Fit Pro in 2011. It's not my race, but my friend Julia is the second person from the right. Gives you an idea of what the whole experience was like!

Closing comments: Doris, I will be forever grateful for you! And I hope our paths cross again...

Sugar Free?

I did it! 5 days! I got through the week minus the sugar! (Ok. I cheated once, but that was a well learned lesson. Read on).

Two to three weeks ago, I was speaking to a friend about her road of sugar-free. She had been going for over a month and was feeling awesome. As I ate cupcake upon cupcake of treats at the baby shower we were attending, she snacked on fruits and vegetables. I admired her will power...mostly because the cupcakes were amazing.

Then friend number 2 went sugar free...she was 2 weeks strong. Then friend number 3 jumped on board and had a solid week under her belt.

I've had trouble processing sugars (verified by naturopath's tests), but it wasn't until this past week that I really noticed it. I've been feeling bloated and yucky. Then on Sunday, I planned for my sugar free week. Now, I'm not talking about abandoning natural sugars all together. I have nothing against fruit, carrots and the likes of natural sugars found in quality foods. I'm talking about the unnecessarily added sugars I was taking in constantly. This challenge wasn't about reducing calories to lose weight, it was about seeing if I could kick the constant craving for sweet that I would have after every meal, first thing in the morning, or mid day.

When I thought about sugar free, there were a few "hiccups" that I was concerned about getting over.

1.) I LOVE cereal for breakfast. I'd eat a bowl of mini-wheats, cheerios, just right, shreddies.... first thing when I got up. I needed to figure out what I would do as an alternative. I remembered this recipe that Hol:Fit had reposted for "Overnight CrockPotPorridge" for a delicious morning meal and made myself a batch for the week. I took an extra few minutes and would fry an egg and have a plain yogurt with fruit, or I made myself a breakfast shake. And as I sit here right now, I'm not even missing my cereal.

2.) I have a giant vat of candy in my office. There's two reasons for this. One, I like candy. Two, when people come and vent stuff to me in my office, I like to provide them with candy as I'm not a therapist and often cannot help solve their problems. So, the question was, do I put the jar of candy in someone else's office? Or do I learn to avoid temptation.


This is where I failed. The candy was not a problem for me. I didn't crave it all week. But the bag of peanut butter cups unfortunately were. On Tuesday I ate about 3 of them and IMMEDIATELY felt gross after. My stomach started to hurt and I realized it wasn't worth it.

So, what helped me get through?

1.) Homemade zucchini bread. My zucchini in my garden is starting to come at a rapid pace, and finding things to do with it, other than give it away, is a great adventure. I made zucchini bread, minus the oil and sugar. I replaced the oil and sugar with fresh pineapple and applesauce. Was it the same? Probably not. But it still tastes pretty darn good!

2.) Veggie juice. My juicer broke! And I immediately got on Kijiji and found myself another one! Having a cup of veggie juice such as Hol:Fit's Green Lemonade or Pink Immunity Booster helped reduce my sugar craving. Does it taste like kool-aid...absolutely not. But when you are putting handfuls of kale, parsley and ginger in a juicer, do you really expect it to?

3.) Fruit: Costco had pre-cut mangoes and pineapple that I purchased and it saved my life. What an easy way to have a sweet and healthy dessert or snack during the day.

4.) Water: I'm surprised at both how much water I have craved this week and how much I have drank! I don't like the taste of water and I rarely am thirsty. But this week, I feel like I've doubled my intake. I typically put slices of lemon or lime in my water to disguise the taste, but I purchased an orange and a grapefruit, sliced them up, and have been using them to flavour my water. It's delicious!

So that's been my week. Is my plan perfect? Not even close. Could someone dissect my nutritional choices and point out better ones? Probably at every meal. But to me it's the little victories. And I feel pretty proud of this one.


Now it's off to another baby shower. This time I get to be the one avoiding the cupcakes! Wish me luck!

To Splash or Not to Back Splash

I'm rarely satisfied when I come to a decision. I think and re-think and try to figure out different angles and options. And when I have made a decision...I question it again. (But more silently so people don't know I'm still thinking about it). Hence, ...the back splash dilemna.

When I go through pinterest pictures and decorating magazines, I always find that back splashes are either incredibly plain ...

...or too "busy".

The small glass tiles are very pretty, but then when you put lots of them up their together it reminds me of those pictures where you have to cross your eyes and try to make a clear picture pop up from the blurry pictures.

What about the ever-popular subway tile?? Well, I just feel that all of a sudden, we'll look back 5 years from now and be able to pick out the year the kitchen was created due to the back splash and the love of subway tiles that re-modelers have.

It will be white cabinets and black granite counters so I hesitate to go white or black with the back splash, and certainly am not so much of a fan of black and white!

Shoot me, but I can't stand this look:

So my dilemna continues...

In other news, I thought it would be a great idea to add in-floor heating under our laminate floors in the kitchen!! It's fairly inexpensive (in the grand scheme of expenses) and what house listing doesn't look great with the tag line "...in floor radiant heating..." When I told my husband of my brilliant thought, he replied, "Hmmm...no, I don't think so. It's just in the kitchen and I'm not there all that much." *Sigh*

(Side note: I tend to misquote my husband often. If you ask him, he'll likely deny saying this.)

So what's your favourite back splash look? Have you ever tried to purchase or install in-floor heating?